[smiles a little tiredly when he sees Cobalt and raises a hand in greeting. he's wearing ripped jeans and a big sweater -- a combination of BE=DE and sensitIV looks -- and he's also got a bag with him.]
[He moves the food onto the blanket. There's two sandwiches wrapped in paper, plus a bag of nori senbei and two plastic containers of dango.]
This morning I was thinking about how nice it was out here, and how we talked about having a picnic, once.
I know it's probably not the same with just the two of us, so maybe we can do a proper one with everyone later but... it's also really nice to do something quiet sometimes.
Yeah... All the stuff with Leviathan has been a lot, and talking with him has brought back a lot of bad memories about the arena game... And then Loki graduating the other day...
I dunno, I've just been thinking about you. Wondering how you're doing. It's been a really complicated time lately.
It's you, so I'm okay with talking a little. It's...
[takes a deep breath.]
Levi-san arrived right after I... broke down at Wild City and my unit. I actually didn't know he was here, at first, because I'd been in my room for days. After all that, it was both... I don't know. It was frustrating and a little relieving to have his optimism. I could tell he was naïve and didn't really grasp the nuances of everything, but he was really vocal about reassuring me that I shouldn't-- stop believing in people. That it was possible for units to work together. That kind of thing.
And... things with sensitIV felt like they'd been getting better, recently. There's still a lot that's frustrating, but the others had been... quiet, I guess? Even Lucifel-san's been making an effort. He talks to me about what he's doing sometimes, and I hear he effectively organized a bunch of units into withdrawing from that auction game. I didn't realize it, but I think I'd started to really believe that some of what I wanted might actually happen?
So for Loki-san to suddenly announce he was choosing to side with Hell... and for Levi-san's first reaction to the murder incident to be violence...
It was like... oh, right. I remember now. That's why it hurts to hope.
[he sits in silence for a moment, staring out at the water and thinking.]
I'm... sad. About what Leviathan did. It turns out I have a lot of really strong feelings about murder and that event made me feel every single one of them simultaneously.
I talked to him afterward and... I dunno, I get the impression this kinda thing might be more like the standard protocol where he's from, so he just reacted without examining anything. He's from the same place as Hiryuu and I've butted heads with her over this kind of thing before, too. I think it's just... part of the culture, where they're from.
[he idly fidgets with the sandwich paper]
But... when I talked to Leviathan, he was willing to listen to me, and it wasn't difficult to explain to him how this kind of thing hurts people. He seemed... remorseful that his actions made people sad, so I think he's going to try to do better in the future.
This was a disappointing and sad thing that happened, and I think we're both justified in being bummed out about it, but I don't think it's setting things back all the way to zero. Leviathan made a mistake. He has a lot of cultural baggage to overcome. But I'm encouraged by the fact that he's listening and making an effort.
You talked to him? Then you're doing better than me. Aside from Loki-san's graduation and the school game, I haven't even seen him. He's been avoiding sensitIV and the dorm. So... I want to believe what you're saying, but... the first time I saw him after he told us about killing Doodleman-san, he attacked Asmodeus.
[he speaks a little hesitantly, like he's not sure about his phrasing.]
Um... at the beginning, he was very warm. He could be slow to catch on to some kinds of things, and he was pretty self-conscious, so it was fun to tease him. He'd get really flustered and prickly. But he really cared about sensitIV a lot, and he was protective of us. He didn't see anything wrong with playing mercilessly in games as long as it meant that we didn't get hurt, so I'd argue with him about that. It all came from a good place, though.
Things started going downhill-- well, the inciting incident was probably the House of Mirth. It hit all of us really hard. I think... there were a lot of things that came together in the weeks afterwards to make him feel-- no, I can't speak for him. Maybe he'd always held grudges, but if so, they hadn't really affected us? They started to, though, even in games. The protectiveness became a problem, too. He wouldn't ever talk to me about his feelings, and when I'd confront him about his actions he'd just say that I expected too much from him, because I was a good person and he wasn't.
Yeah, a lot of that does sound like Leviathan. Especially the protectiveness. I met him on his first day here and he already had the vibe about him that suggested he was ready to throw down to defend himself and sensitIV. He considered getting the wound-unwinding power as his first one, but I talked him into doing hand-to-hand combat training with me instead, so he could feel capable of protecting himself without resorting to... that.
Unlike Loki, though, I don't think he sees himself as a bad person. I think he can still be reasoned with, and he still wants to do right by you.
...I think it's gonna take him a lot of work to overcome his social programming, and he's probably going to mess up a lot along the way, but I really do think he's trying.
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rollwillpowercheck) wrote2018-12-03 06:11 pm
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Anubis: I'd like that
Anubis: I might not be really great company
Anubis: but it still sounds nice
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Cobalt: do you have any dietary restrictions or food requests?
Cobalt: i can meet you there with the sandwiches
[attached is a map with a pin marking the meeting spot, down by one of the lakes]
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Anubis: I'll bring some drinks?
Anubis: do you want soda or tea or...
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Anubis: see you there!
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Cobalt's wearing this, which is new. When he sees Anubis approaching, he smiles and greets him with a small wave.]
Hey! Good to see you.
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Hey. I, um, brought a blanket to sit on, too.
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[pulls the blanket out of the bag and, after a moment, gets it properly spread out on the ground.]
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This morning I was thinking about how nice it was out here, and how we talked about having a picnic, once.
I know it's probably not the same with just the two of us, so maybe we can do a proper one with everyone later but... it's also really nice to do something quiet sometimes.
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[adds two bottles of green tea to the food.]
I think... right now doing something quiet sounds better. Thanks for inviting me, Cobalt-san.
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I've been thinking about you a lot lately.
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Have you?
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I dunno, I've just been thinking about you. Wondering how you're doing. It's been a really complicated time lately.
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[pulls his knees up to his chest and folds his arms on top of them. he's quiet for a moment, thinking.]
It's been bad. I feel... betrayed, in a lot of ways.
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I can imagine, but... tell me about it?
I mean, if you feel like it. If you just want to eat sandwiches and throw rocks in the lake, that's also fine.
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[takes a deep breath.]
Levi-san arrived right after I... broke down at Wild City and my unit. I actually didn't know he was here, at first, because I'd been in my room for days. After all that, it was both... I don't know. It was frustrating and a little relieving to have his optimism. I could tell he was naïve and didn't really grasp the nuances of everything, but he was really vocal about reassuring me that I shouldn't-- stop believing in people. That it was possible for units to work together. That kind of thing.
And... things with sensitIV felt like they'd been getting better, recently. There's still a lot that's frustrating, but the others had been... quiet, I guess? Even Lucifel-san's been making an effort. He talks to me about what he's doing sometimes, and I hear he effectively organized a bunch of units into withdrawing from that auction game. I didn't realize it, but I think I'd started to really believe that some of what I wanted might actually happen?
So for Loki-san to suddenly announce he was choosing to side with Hell... and for Levi-san's first reaction to the murder incident to be violence...
It was like... oh, right. I remember now. That's why it hurts to hope.
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I'm... sad. About what Leviathan did. It turns out I have a lot of really strong feelings about murder and that event made me feel every single one of them simultaneously.
I talked to him afterward and... I dunno, I get the impression this kinda thing might be more like the standard protocol where he's from, so he just reacted without examining anything. He's from the same place as Hiryuu and I've butted heads with her over this kind of thing before, too. I think it's just... part of the culture, where they're from.
[he idly fidgets with the sandwich paper]
But... when I talked to Leviathan, he was willing to listen to me, and it wasn't difficult to explain to him how this kind of thing hurts people. He seemed... remorseful that his actions made people sad, so I think he's going to try to do better in the future.
This was a disappointing and sad thing that happened, and I think we're both justified in being bummed out about it, but I don't think it's setting things back all the way to zero. Leviathan made a mistake. He has a lot of cultural baggage to overcome. But I'm encouraged by the fact that he's listening and making an effort.
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1/2
[HE JUST WANTS TO SCREAM FOR TEN STRAIGHT MINUTES]
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I still don't think he's malicious, though!
[BUT STILL EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING
LEVI, CAN YOU PLEASE CHILL]
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It's... definitely not malicious. I really do think he's trying to help. But that kind of, um, well-meaning impulsiveness leading to violence?
It reminds me of Loki-san, and that worries me.
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What was he like?
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[he speaks a little hesitantly, like he's not sure about his phrasing.]
Um... at the beginning, he was very warm. He could be slow to catch on to some kinds of things, and he was pretty self-conscious, so it was fun to tease him. He'd get really flustered and prickly. But he really cared about sensitIV a lot, and he was protective of us. He didn't see anything wrong with playing mercilessly in games as long as it meant that we didn't get hurt, so I'd argue with him about that. It all came from a good place, though.
Things started going downhill-- well, the inciting incident was probably the House of Mirth. It hit all of us really hard. I think... there were a lot of things that came together in the weeks afterwards to make him feel-- no, I can't speak for him. Maybe he'd always held grudges, but if so, they hadn't really affected us? They started to, though, even in games. The protectiveness became a problem, too. He wouldn't ever talk to me about his feelings, and when I'd confront him about his actions he'd just say that I expected too much from him, because I was a good person and he wasn't.
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Yeah, a lot of that does sound like Leviathan. Especially the protectiveness. I met him on his first day here and he already had the vibe about him that suggested he was ready to throw down to defend himself and sensitIV. He considered getting the wound-unwinding power as his first one, but I talked him into doing hand-to-hand combat training with me instead, so he could feel capable of protecting himself without resorting to... that.
Unlike Loki, though, I don't think he sees himself as a bad person. I think he can still be reasoned with, and he still wants to do right by you.
...I think it's gonna take him a lot of work to overcome his social programming, and he's probably going to mess up a lot along the way, but I really do think he's trying.
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